Following the last four ‘heavy’ weeks of politics (campaigning, debating, making extravagant announcements, and then denying everything to the next audience, and finally voting with a ‘joker’ option on the ballot), let’s tackle something completely different this week: HUNTING (or is it that really different?). Enjoy this quote from Bismarck, a German statesman, diplomat and writer who said that ‘People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.’
‘Doctor, Doctor, (in fact, he’s a psychiatrist), what is wrong with me, why can’t I be ‘normal’ like most of my buddies? Am I overly sensitive, am I a… ‘sissy’?’ ‘Normal in what sense my dear sir?’ ‘Well, Doctor, I am now a senior and I have never gone hunting in my whole life! My buddies keep on inviting me to experience the thrill of it at least once… Am I missing something important here, something I should add to my bucket list?’ ‘Nothing to worry about, my dear sir, you are totally ‘normal’, but just a little ‘different’ I suppose…Fortunately, you don’t live in Texas where you would be considered very strange…’ ‘How so Doctor? I can swap mosquitoes and spiders without regret or remorse, I even used a pellet gun once to shoo away a skunk!’ ‘You just don’t have a true killer instinct, to look an animal straight in the eyes and shoot it, but it’s OK: if God had wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli more fun to shoot at!’ ‘But… what’s your point Doctor? I don’t think I could shoot at a broccoli either: I love broccoli! And I am not even a vegetarian! Is that what’s wrong with me?’
‘I can’t say for sure my dear sir, science hasn’t reached that far into the mind yet, but I wouldn’t be too concerned if I were you: I love my broccoli too!’
Environmentalist Gary Varner identifies 3 types of hunting: therapeutic, subsistence, and sport, each type being distinguished by its own purpose.
Throughout human history, hunting for food has been a way of life: cave paintings from the Bible depict hunting as a normality. A few generations ago, hunting was a formality in the seasonal life of a family, it was at the core of the process of growing up: learning how to care for and use a rifle, whether you enjoyed the outdoors or not, every fall you were expected to join in the family men’s hunting trip: father, grandfather, brothers, uncles, cousins and head to the woods for male bonding, camaraderie and food supply. Fast-forward to today, and we find hunting in decline: farming meat operations and grocery supermarkets provide us with all the meat we need; double that with the decline of close ties between generations of family members, hunting experiences have lost their appeal and their necessity. Today, hunting is not a prerequisite to manhood anymore, but it still helps develop age-old masculine qualities. What are the real implications, the down-to-earth practices required of a potential hunter? Well, let’s see now if you are up to it:
‘Real hunting involves early mornings, long hikes through often rugged country, hours sitting behind a pair of binoculars, constantly trying to beat an animal’s keen senses, sneaking into shooting range undetected, and making a good, ethical shot to dispatch the animal quickly (which requires countless hours of practice in the off-season). And if you manage to get through all of that successfully, the real work begins. Now you must field-dress the animal, quarter it into manageable pack-loads, and then get it out of the woods, often on your own shoulders for what can be miles back to your pick-up truck! There’s nothing easy about hunting! When I hunt, I can almost feel my place in the food chain, my role in this massive ecosystem that is earth, I feel like my most authentic self!’ (from the Canadian Outdoorsman Magazine)
Some top-3 stats just for fun:
-Top-3 best hunters: Bill Cody (Buffalo Bill), Ernest Hemingway, Davy Crockett
-Top-3 best destinations: Tanzania, Mozambique, South Africa (Canada #8)
-Top-3 hunted animals: Deer, turkey, duck
-Top-3 most endangered animals: Lemurs, gorillas, snow leopards
Did you know that in Ontario, you MAY NOT…
-Hunt in provincial parks or national parks or any other protected habitat
-Hunt big game, moose, deer or black bear when these animals are swimming
-Hunt specially protected birds and other wildlife
-Hunt polar bear unless being indigenous or accompanied by an indigenous person
Well, HAPPY HUNTING SEASON all you hunters; and for those of you who are not, HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FALL SEASON!
‘I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I keep photographs of her.’ (Ellen DeGeneres)
